What Could Possibly Go Wrong - Week 2.5

The 40 Acres of Yellow Cylinder/Displacement Arms Race took a new twist this week when blogger My V8 Eats Tapes pur-chased himself and his wife a fine E39 540i Touring, thus trumping my €300 730i with ease.

Now that one of our own finds himself with a few g's burning a hole in his pocket post-some epic wheeling and dealing, the rare opportunity presents itself to be the King of Capacity for a little while at least.

This, my friends is a road-legal (till April) E38 750i, packing twelve cylinders of awesome which push out a handsome 322bhp and a diesel-shaming 490nm of torques. 

Lets just pause and reflect on that a moment. It doesn't quite have the historical distinction the E32 750i had of sporting the first post-war German 12-pot, the news of which hit Stuttgart like a Russian Infantry Division sized wall of rape but you could go around claiming that your powerplant has a little in common with the BMW LeMans cars of the era, as well as the McLaren F1 and the Rolls-Royce Silver Seraph. The links are of course, a little tedious but you do wonder what a lump like this pushing 620bhp in a car weighing 1100kg must feel like. Fairly fucking brisk, I'd wager.

Yes, the tax is a pain in the ass but as you are packing 5.4 litres and the maximum rate is at 3000cc you do get a hatchback-sized 1400cc free of charge which is surely an epic manmaths bargain.

In so far as it can be said for a model whos idea of a service could financially obliterate most working men, the car is a known quantity too, it has spent the past 12-18 months in the wider reaches of the 40 Acres circles and was driven by me a year ago. It has minor cosmetic issues, and a few little faults like the 50mph shimmy and some wind noise off a badly sealed windscreen but otherwise it is just utterly, utterly fantastic.

Then there's the spec - the extended leather reaching up over the dash and the doors was a rare 3000stg option, the car has the 4:3 TV/Nav unit, comfort seats, the good ole GSM phone and what looks like rear aircraft-style trays. From memory it also has the S-EDC adaptive dampers and a sunroof.

The V12 is said to be hugely reliable - single cams make it relatively simple and once half-minded, long-lived. It has some achilles heels, the ignition system can play up and it has two 100a batteries which can make both standing up and jump-starting both complex and runious. 

Yet even if the car shit the bed, you would have bragging rights for life, an amazing coffee table and €200 for scrap from the deal.

That's before you get to another upside - the grunt - which is worth the admission fee alone. I can verify they will hit the 155mph limiter with total ease and go on to 185mph de-limited. 

The downside is, naturally the mpg, said to be around 22 when hyper-miled but on the other hand if you had somewhere to keep it, and were totally cavalier about motor tax then it would be a simply epic machine to go on long runs in.

It is both astonishing and sad that €700-€900 gets you a Munich Missile of this variety.

- No tax
- NCT 06-04-13
- 149,000 miles

http://cars.donedeal.ie/for-sale/cars/4080943